News Flash: Michael Jackson wants a giant robot..of himself!

Just saw this article on Yahoo News...

Michael Jackson wants Vegas robot
03/27/2007 4:00 PM, Yahoo! Music
Dotmusic

Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.

The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case.

It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.

If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.

It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.

Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.

"Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.

On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see."

Yes, please. Please build this. God Please!

I want to live in a world where a 50 foot tall, robot of a pedophile roams freely on the open desert, crushing homes and zapping things randomly with his laser vision. It does not occur to me that it might just be a big statue that waves and talks and smiles, with flashing lights. No sir! If this thing is going to be built, it better be built to be mobile and programmed to rampage!

In this world, children on the outskirts of Las Vegas always scan the horizon on the off chance that "El Jackson Gigante Robotico" would come lumbering up to them, with that whole creepy, "I just want to be your friend" look on his face! At night, they would watch out their bedroom windows to see his massive, metal shadows cross over the low-hung fool moon.

In my mind, the robot has broken free of its masters and searches the Nevada desert for some purpose in life. Always longing to be accepted, always shunned by a frightened world that made it. Seeking approval, finding only anger and derision.

Just like the real Michael Jackson.

Only this one is a robot.

And it's 50 feet tall.

And it shoots lasers out of it's fucking eyes.

Just how BIG is 50 feet exactly? Well, that dinosaur to the right is 50 feet tall and that's a kid in the bottom left of the picture. The Michael Robot is going to be THAT FUCKING BIG!

If it's THAT big, it's gotta rampage doesn't it? I mean, why bother building it, otherwise? What's a giant robot of a whacked-out celebrity for, if it doesn't strike fear in the hearts of all who view it.

The article says that it would "shoot laser beams" and be "the first thing that people on planes would see as they come into Vegas." Am I unreasonable to want to hear people on that plane screaming, "Oh God! Oh God! It's Michael Jackson! And he's going to grab us and KILL US ALL!"

I don't think so.
I think I am just voicing the same thing that we all want to see.

Another amazing, mind-numbing, spectacular pop cultural train wreck from the King of Bad Media. He has the money. The Plan. And the Ability to thoroughly fuck this up.

Make it happen, Michael. I believe in you.

Cheers,
Mr.B